


Sayonara

by femalefighter56



Category: Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler
Genre: Death, M/M, Moving On, life - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-12
Updated: 2013-10-14
Packaged: 2017-12-29 05:17:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,062
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1001338
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/femalefighter56/pseuds/femalefighter56
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I will never say it, I don't believe it. No matter what I will always love you."</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Sayonara  
Disclaimer-I own nothing!  
Eric stood over Alan’s bed with a wet towel in his hand, he seemed to be resting. Finally. The thorns were getting worse; they were spreading closer to his heart. Everyone figured it wouldn’t be long now until Alan left this world, and Eric behind. Even so close it was something Eric Slingby didn’t want to think about. He couldn’t think about the fact that the one person that meant the most to him, that made him whole, was going to die. Wiping his face he hoped to take some of the sweat off Alan; keep him comfortable.  
“Eric? Why not go get some sleep. I’ll keep an eye on him?” Pulling the cloth from Alan’s face he dumped it back in the bucket. Turning towards the door he saw Ronald in the doorway trying to give them space while lending a hand as best he could. Stepping away from the bed he moved towards the door placing a hand on Ron’s shoulder and mumbled “thanks,” before he went into the living room. Usually he slept with Alan when he slept over but he knew if he did that he wouldn’t sleep at all. He couldn’t guarantee he would now, but here he had a better shot.  
Lying on the couch he faced the cushions so he would be able to hear Alan better. God, how could things get this bad so quickly? Alan had the thorns for two years now but he was the same he had always been. Hardworking, helpful, still held the smile he fell in love with. Then a few months ago he noticed Alan would tire out quicker, he would want to go out less and wanted to cuddle with blankets more. He was getting slower. Reaping jobs that would usually take him two hours were now taking him four or more. Nothing was a drastic change though it was all gradual. Until earlier in the week that was. They were walking him from work together as they had done every day since they started dating, when Alan had an attack. Eric dropped down beside him to help him through it, they had become more frequent so he picked up a few tricks on helping him. Once the attack ended Alan moved away so he could stand and they could continue on their way.  
“Eric, oh my God, Eric!” Eric had just stood back up before he heard Alan panicking.  
“What? I’m right here. I wouldn’t leave you behind.”  
“No. I. I can’t stand up.”  
“What?” Pulling his hands from his pockets he saw the panic on Alan’s face.  
“Eric, I can’t stand up. My legs, they won’t move!”  
“Calm down. You’re okay. Let me get you home.” Bending down he had Alan put his arms around his neck so he could lift him up.  
“You okay, should I reposition my arms?”  
“No. You’re fine.” Alan lowered his head to rest it under Eric’s chin.  
“You know, this is the first time you’ve ever let me carry you.”  
“Is it?”  
“You’ve always complained when I offered.”  
“Then I guess it is.” Keeping his arms around Eric’s neck he held on a little tighter to him. Eric didn’t say anything right away knowing Alan had let a few tears escape. This had to be hard on him knowing he was getting worse. Home they got Alan in bed and resting. Eric was going to turn off the light and let him sleep when he heard his name. Going back to the bed he sat on the edge and gently stroked Alan’s cheek.  
“Try to sleep Alan, you’ll feel better.”  
“Eric I…thanks. For taking me home.”  
“Don’t thank me; you know I have no problem with it. You know I love you and would do anything for you.”  
“I know.”  
“But.”  
“Nothing.” Using the back of his wrist he wiped his eyes.  
“Hey, don’t cry. There is no need for tears. I’ll always have your back. You should know that by now.” Moving closer he stopped as Alan put his hand up.  
“Al,”  
“I know! Don’t you think I know that by now? That’s why this is so hard for me. If I never met you, if I hadn’t fallen in love with you then I wouldn’t hate the fact that I’m dying!” Eric’s jaw hung open from Alan’s words before he saw him start full blown crying. He had never known this.  
“If I never met you than this, this stupid disease would be easier to handle. The thought of leaving you wouldn’t hurt so much! When I die I’ll never see you again. You’ll go on living; we will never meet in heaven like humans do. I hate it! I don’t want to never see you again. I don’t want to leave you!” Eric moved forward to pull Alan into his chest allowing him to cry into his work shirt. He didn’t want to believe he would never see Alan again, he couldn’t. There was no way he could go on without him, without the hope they would meet again. Calming Alan down they laid together, there was no way Eric could leave him like that.  
Rolling over on the couch Eric tried to clear his mind from the memory. That was all he saw when he tried to shut his eyes. Damn it! He knew it wasn’t going to be easy but he didn’t think it would be this hard either.  
“Alan!” Hearing Ronald’s voice Eric jumped to his feet and ran into the bedroom. There he saw Ron holding a towel to Alan’s mouth as he coughed. Stepping closer he took the cloth from him and took over. As they switched positions Eric saw blood soaking the towel. The thorns were ripping Alan apart from the inside. The amount of blood he was coughing up, it wouldn’t surprise him if they had pierced a lung.  
“You’re alright, I’ve got you. Cough it up; it’s not good to keep it inside you. Try to clear it out of your lungs as best you can.” Looking over at Ron he said, “Go get a bucket and a glass of water, bucket first though. Please.” Ronald nodded and rushed out to get what Eric asked for. Grabbing another towel from the bucket of water and held that to Alan’s mouth to dump the other one in the water. Alan coughed up more blood instantly soaking the side. Ronald ran back in and handed it to Eric before running out to get the glass of water.  
“Al, spit.” Having him spit he watched as it was all blood. This was getting worse.  
“Eric. Eric I hurt so much.” Ronald rushed in and handed the glass to Alan who rinsed his mouth out as he slowly stopped coughing. Swallowing the rest of it he handed the glass back to Ron. Seeing Alan was weak and pale Eric had him also take the bucket just as Alan fell back into his arms.  
“Where does it hurt now?”  
“My chest is tight. The thorns moved around my lungs this time. I feel as if, they aren’t expending enough.”  
“Panicking won’t help you. Just relax, I’m right here, I’ve got you.”  
Cleaning up the best he could with Ron’s help they found Alan asleep soon after. Carefully, Eric left Alan on the bed and stepped out with Ronald for a quick moment to wash up.  
“Sorry for bossing you around. You had him I should have,”  
“Eric. I offered to help you. Don’t worry about it.”  
“Thanks.”  
“Sleep any?”  
“Not really. Hard to when I’m listening for him.”  
“I understand. But please try alright?”  
“I will.” Drying his hands he went back to the bedroom to lie with Alan. He knew the couch was pointless. “Guest bed’s yours Ron. But you already knew that.” Eric laid behind Alan and wrapped his arms around him to hold him tight. How many nights would he be able to do this? Was tonight it? Hugging him tighter he hoped that wasn’t true.  
Eric took the thermometer out of Alan’s mouth only to frown at the temperature. “You’ve got a pretty bad fever.” Alan pulled the covers up a little higher. Eric knew what that meant, Alan was avoiding the comment. “Alan. You’ve had this fever haven’t you?” Nodding ‘yes’ he looked away.  
“It’s a side effect, if you will. As it grows my body tries to defend against it and well I get a growing fever.” Putting the thermometer on the nightstand he sat next to Alan and moved his bangs from his eyes.  
“Why didn’t you tell me?”  
“I didn’t want you to worry, You already worry about me so much and I can take care of a little fever.”  
“Let me in already. Geez, you know I will anyway.” Kissing his forehead he saw Alan smile.  
“I guess you’re right.”  
“Feeling better?” Nodding partially his hands dropped to his legs.  
“They hurt, my legs. I don’t think I’ll be able to do much moving anymore. The thorns wrapped around them before, well much tighter than they had been. I feel better but I can’t walk, I can tell that much. So much for work.”  
“I’ve been telling you to take a vacation.”  
Hearing him laugh Eric smiled, no matter what happened with the thorns Alan’s laugh remained the same, and he seemed to always make him laugh despite the situation.  
Opening his eyes Eric saw Alan watching him. He wasn’t wide awake but he was awake.  
“Morning.” His voice was still soft, he must still be having trouble breathing.  
“Morning.”  
Saying nothing more they enjoyed the peace of staying near each other. Their souls fluttered inside them, this had started happening whenever they were close, ever since they first met. It was how Eric knew he was falling for Alan. Pulling him near him Eric inhaled Alan’s scent, still the same as it had always been. How could he ever bear the thought of losing this?  
The next day Eric held on to Alan’s hand trying to help him through the attack. Alan was barely breathing; blood soaked the sheets as he coughed it up. The hand that wasn’t holding Eric’s gripped his chest as the thorns grabbed his heart. They could both feel it; this could be the end of Alan, of all they had shared. These moments were going to be their last. Alan’s fingers dug into his chest as he screamed from the pain, from the thorns becoming tighter and tighter, beginning to poke his heart. Holding Alan as tightly as he could he tried to have him us his body as an outlet for the pain. Ronald ran beside him trying to clear the blood from his throat, hearing he was starting to suffocate from it.  
“…Eric…I love you.” The words were whispered, barely audible. Yet Eric heard them loud and clear.  
“I love you too. And I promise you, we will meet again. And I will love you then as much as I love you now. I promise, don’t forget it.”  
“Thank you.” His lips made the motion only to have the words fade before they reached outside his body. Eric closed his eyes, digging his face into Alan’s shoulder as he screams peaked, as more blood poured from his mouth before stopping suddenly. Looking up Eric saw a single line of blood leave the side of Alan’s mouth as his eyes were wide; tears had started to fall before his heart was pierced.  
Ronald had stood there frozen by the fact that Alan was really gone. He had truly witnessed his best friend die before his eyes, and he couldn’t even die in peace as he deserved. It wasn’t fair.  
“Ron. Could you, give me a minute?”  
“…s…sure. I’ll, um, I’ll let Will know.”  
“Thanks.” Eric placed Alan back on the bed, placing a hand on his eyes he gently closed his lids before kissing him one last time and wiping away Alan’s tears.  
“Damn it Al, you aren’t the one that supposed to cry.” Pulling him back into his arms Eric finally let his dams break, let the tears he had been suppressing since the start of all of this pour from his eyes.  
“Alan I love you. And I promise you, we will meet again. Wait for me. I refuse to believe this is good-bye.”


	2. Chapter 2

Sayonara  
Chapter 2  
Disclaimer- I own nothing!  
Eric stood there, watching the fire burn, the new eternal flame lit for Alan. How he hated funerals, dressed in all black, the playback of their records, and then the burial or more like burning. No bodies were ever buried. How he hated that rule. Alan’s body went through enough it shouldn’t have to go through more. At least he got to be sent off with Erica’s around him, hopefully they reached him.  
“God I hope your well.” Stuffing his hands into his pockets he walked away looking at the ground. Really not thinking of anything but, what now? What did he do now without Alan? How did he live this eternal life, this hell without his smile, laughter, strength?  
Turning the key he opened the door and stepped into Alan’s house. He hadn’t been home since Alan’s passing two days ago. His legs kept bringing him here. Ronald had even brought him his funeral attire earlier today. Closing the door with his foot he shrugged off his jacket. Turning to the coat rack he saw Alan’s scythe in the corner. The society would be looking for it soon, it would either be turned into a relic or given to a new recruit. No one would ever be able to handle it the way Alan did. No one was worthy enough for it, to even touch it. Taking his time he made his way into the bedroom. In the doorway he stared at the bed, how there wasn’t a single trace that Alan suffered here, that his last breath was here. The society made sure they cleaned up well when they came to collect his body and prepare for today. Stepping in he sat on the edge of the bed to stare at the floor. He felt empty, no not empty, lost. He felt lost. Before Alan he would work, eat, drink, sleep. And now while he felt like hitting a bar he didn’t want a drink. Alan changed him so much that even alcohol wasn’t desired. There was no amount of alcohol that could sedate this pain he felt. Looking up he saw himself in the mirror that hung on the closet. He always hated that mirror. Alan loved to keep his closet door closed all the time so they would always see themselves in bed when they woke up in the morning. The last thing he wanted to see first thing in the morning was himself. Alan looked cute with bed head, he on the other hand, well he didn’t. Staring at himself now he saw the bags under his eyes even with his glasses on. He had trimmed his goatee when he got dressed this morning but he still looked unkempt. His black tie still stood out over his black shirt and pants. He looked miserable. He looked like death, and he was, it was what he did but he never felt it before. Not like this.  
Hearing the phone ring he looked away from the mirror and made his way to the kitchen where Alan had the only phone. Lifting it up he brought it to his ear.  
“Hello?”  
“Eric?”  
“How did you know I was here Ron?”  
“I called your house and when you didn’t pick up. I figured you might be over there.” Ronald sounded worn out as well.  
“Did you need something?”  
“Wanted to see how you were holding up. I, well, it wasn’t hard to see how you, um, at the viewing when they showed back his records and they showed you together.”  
“If you want to come over its fine Ron.”  
“Okay.” Hanging up Eric sat at the kitchen table and stared at Alan’s spot.  
“You can’t sit there!”  
“What, is the chair broken?” Eric stopped as he was trying to sit hearing Alan yell at him.  
“Well no, but, you’re going to laugh, but, I need to sit there.”  
“What?” Confused and curious Eric stood up.  
“In the morning I sit there, it, I don’t know, gives me balance for the day.”  
“Balance? Al, you are beyond strange.” Now laughing Eric grabbed his coffee cup and moved to the chair next to him. “But since it’s your house I will comply with your wishes.”  
“Thank you. I’m sorry for being so strange. Certain things I am so picky with.”  
“Now I’m curious, my house, same thing?”  
“Yes and at work I have to sit in the middle of the table.”  
“You are too weird. No wonder you don’t drink.”  
Alan started laughing as he put their breakfast in front of them.  
Eric shook his head from the memory as there was a knock at the door. Blinking he tried to get the stinging to stop. Standing up he went to the door to let Ron in.  
“Hey.”  
“Hi.”  
“So, how are you, um, how are you holding up?”  
“Alright I guess.” Moving back to the kitchen both sat at the table. To them both, ones that had been friends for years, this was awkward.  
“Ron, honestly, why try to find me?”  
“Oh, well.” Ronald fixed his hair while he tried to get the words out. “At the viewing today when they showed us Alan’s record there were some private moments with you. I just wanted to see that you were okay.”  
“I’ve always hated that, playing back our lives for friends. Private memories should be private. But it showed nothing no one knew about. Hey Ron, I need to thank you.”  
“Thank me? For what?”  
“For doing what I couldn’t. What I should have done. Thank you for collecting Alan’s soul for me. We were partners I should have done it.”  
“Eric. It’s fine. I had no problem doing it and I’m sure Alan understands. You, well, you just witnessed someone that you cared deeply for die, you’re mind wasn’t ready to do anything else but mourn.”  
“Yea I guess.”  
“I can’t believe the society is already trying to figure out what to do with this place and his scythe. It’s sick how fast they move on.”  
“They aren’t to get it. Not the house or the scythe. Alan was too good a person to be forgotten about.”  
“While I agree with you there isn’t really anything you can do. I mean unless you move in here they will try to claim in. The only thing you could do is put a claim in that his scythe should become a relic and not recycled.”  
“I don’t know what I’ll do yet but I know they won’t get it.”  
Both sat there in silence as they thought about this place and the person it belonged to. It was hard to believe Alan was really dead.  
Once Ronald left for the night Eric turned out the kitchen light and went into the living room to sit and try to become tired. Sitting in the recliner he stared at all the books Alan had. He had them all, history, medical, novels, you named it he owned it and probably read it; twice. He always loved to read, he had stopped by more than once to see Alan caught up in something. Closing his eyes he felt his smile from the memory come to his lips. Opening his eyes he stood up, turned the light out and went into the bedroom.  
“Hey Alan, can I have your attention for a minute?” Eric stood across from Alan who put a finger up to have him wait a minute as he read on the couch. Finishing the page he put his bookmark in it and closed the book.  
“What’s up?”  
“I’ve been thinking, about the fact that we are always together. What do you think about possibly moving in together?”  
“What? Seriously? You think we should live together? But I like my house.”  
“So then no? You realize you said that rather quickly.”  
“Well, okay, actually if we were to do that I would rather buy a house with you and sell ours.”  
“Really? Okay then.”  
“You know, you said that rather quickly.” Smirking Alan stood from the couch and moved towards Eric.  
“We would really have to look into this idea more before anything is really decided. But I think it would be great if we lived together. I mean we’ve been together close to twenty years, about time we did something to show it.”  
Wrapping his hands around Alan, Eric placed a kiss on his lips.  
“My thoughts exactly.”  
Eric rolled over to stare at Alan’s spot. Why did that memory have to come back? It wasn’t a bad memory but soon after that everything changed. A part of him wished he had never brought the thought up, though he knew the two events were unrelated.  
“Hey Ron, have you seen Alan today?”Eric came up to Ronald who sat at his desk.  
“I was going to ask you that. I haven’t seen him. Someone said they didn’t think he showed up today.”  
“That’s strange. Alan has never taken a sick day.”  
“I could be wrong. Will probably sent him out early.”  
“I’ll ask him then. Thanks. Oh drinks later?”  
“Sure.”  
Going to Williams office he asked about Alan.  
“Alan Humphries isn’t here today. He has taken the day off.”  
“Why?”  
“I didn’t ask, I did not need to. Now get back to work before you have overtime.”  
At lunch Eric left the office to head over to Alan’s and make sure he was alright. They spent last night together, out for dinner, talking about houses and what they wanted. Alan had been fine then. Coming up on his house he saw someone leaving, it certainly wasn’t Alan. What was the Undertaker doing at his house? Waiting for him to be out of sight he ran up to the house and knocked on the door. Alan opened the door surprised to see him there.  
“Shouldn’t you be at work?”  
“You weren’t there I wanted to make sure you were okay.”  
“Oh, well come in.” Heading into the kitchen Eric saw a key on the table before Alan snatched it up.  
“Since you’re here now I’ll give this to you now. Here.” Sticking his hand out he handed Eric the key he had just seen.  
“What’s this?”  
“It’s the key to this place. I want you to have it.”  
“What? Why? I thought we said we were selling it and buying one together.”  
“I was thinking about it and it’s a stupid idea. We should keep things how they are for now. I want you to have this so you can come over whenever.”  
“What’s really going on Alan? Why was the Undertaker here?”  
“Nothing. I’ve just been thinking and feel this is better for now. And I was walking to work when I, I felt ill. He saw me and helped me home. So stop being jealous.”  
“Alan, what are you hiding?!”  
“Drop it! Look, I really don’t feel good. I just want to go lie down. Do whatever you want, stay, go, but I need to rest.” Turning from Eric he went down the hall and into his bedroom. Realizing he did sound jealous over nothing he shoved Alan’s key in his pocket and followed him into the bedroom. Opening the door he saw he was already in bed and under the covers. Climbing in beside him he wrapped his arms around him.  
“I’m sorry. For aggravating you. You are looking pale. We’ll talk once you’re feeling better. Sleep well.”  
“Thank you.” Alan bunched himself closer to Eric’s arms as he shut his eyes and fell asleep.  
Feeling the sun in his eyes Eric woke up remembering he was alone. Alan would never sleep in his arms again. They would never wake up together, share a meal, share a laugh, share anything. Laying there he thought about going to work, save his mind from the memories yet he couldn’t move. He didn’t want to, he didn’t want to leave and fear Alan’s’ presence would be gone when he got back. Maybe that’s why he kept coming back, because this was Alan’s house and so long as it stayed his house then Alan’s spirit would be here even if his body wasn’t. Alan did like this house.  



	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3  
Disclaimer-I own nothing!  
Taking the day off Eric found himself wondering the quarters he called home for so many centuries with Alan. A bridge in the park Alan loved to sit under, especially when everything was in full bloom. The pond where he would go to think, or as time went on, when he needed to be alone. Unable to handle the sights and push back the memories Eric left for London. He needed a change of scenery.   
Walking the streets he avoided the others walking around him. He didn’t care to see the mother’s walking with their children or the lovers holding hands. His heart still mourned for the one he lost. Centuries had been spent without Alan, before he came into his life, but now he couldn’t figure out how he had survived. How he thought he had known happiness. Alan was an amazing person, an incredible partner, friend, and lover. He would never meet anyone like him again, not that he wanted to. The sight of how Alan died came to the front of his mind. It wasn’t fair, Alan was a pure hearted soul. He should have died peacefully, in his sleep. Not with the thorns. Not being choked, and in un-measureable amounts of pain and suffering. The society may have cleaned up his house but he still saw the blood soaked sheets, the sweat and tears Alan shed before he said good-bye to this world. A world he loved. Clenching his fists he stopped walking, his blood pressure soared from the thought, from the memory. Why? Why did Alan have to die? And from the thorns no less?! Feeling himself unclench his fists he ran into the first bar he saw and sat down.  
“What can I get you?”  
“Your strongest.”  
Having a drink put in front of him he shot it down his throat and slammed the cup down for another.  
“Alan! Oh my God!” Seeing Alan on his knees in the kitchen, his hands holding the back the chair for support Eric ran over to him. “What happened? Are you alright?”  
“Bed. I need to go to my bed. I need to lie down.” Watching him struggle to stand he helped him get back on his feet. Alan had gone pale again, his face plastered with sweat. This happened the other month as well. Why did he have a feeling this led back to a few months ago when Alan said he had felt ill. Together they got Alan comfortable and resting in bed. Eric wanted answers but he seemed too tired right now. Maybe Alan was facing a severe case of exhaustion?  
Seeing Alan waking up Eric sat beside him on the bed.  
“What is going on with you?”  
“I don’t want to discuss it but I have an appointment in two days. If you want to come you can.” Touching his face he noticed he didn’t feel hot and the color had come back in his face. But why didn’t he want to talk about it? Was he scared he would get mad at him for allowing his body to overwork itself. And why did he have to see a doctor?  
Shooting back another one he told the barkeeper he wanted another. It seemed the more he drank the more the memories hit him. It was doing what he didn’t want. Yet he still kept asking for another. Why? Why was he allowing this pain and heartache to continue? Maybe it was working, maybe it was numbing the pain. Or maybe it wasn’t the drinking that was bringing the memories, maybe it was the fact that his body didn’t want to move, didn’t want to try and continue with things, or stop the memories.  
“Why are we here Alan?”  
“I told you I have a doctor’s appointment.”  
“But here? I mean you couldn’t get one back home?”  
“Are you coming in or not?” Seeing Alan opening the door to the Undertaker’s building Eric followed behind him. Going inside he heard Alan ask gently if anyone was in while he tried not to touch anything. This place always freaked him out. Hearing that creepy laugh from beside him Eric jumped and turned. Undertaker stepped beside Alan from coming out of the shadows.  
“Come, let’s get started shall we?” Alan followed Undertaker through a door which Eric went into as well. He wasn’t leaving Alan alone with him. Alan sat on a table to be looked over. He seemed used to this. Eric wasn’t sure what bothered him more, how standard this looked or how he could tell Alan wasn’t thrilled he joined him. It was obvious he didn’t want him to learn what was going on.   
Being left alone after getting everything done Alan looked at the floor from the table and Eric stood there. Stunned wasn’t how he felt, neither was betrayed, scared, or angry. He wasn’t sure how he felt at the moment.   
“How could you hide this from me?”  
Alan looked up, met Eric’s eyes for only a moment before looking away. “I couldn’t tell you. I wanted to but whenever I tried I would find a reason not to. This seemed to be the best way.”  
“You should have told me from the beginning. Together we could have;”  
“Could have what? There is no cure Eric! It’s just going to progress and kill me, slow and painfully.” Eric saw Alan close his eyes, trying to stay strong through this. Taking his hands out of his pockets Eric went to him and put his arms around him.  
“You should have told me so I could help you through this. We are partners Alan; we do everything together, forever. Tell me, when you become pale and,”  
“It is. It’s the thorns attacking my body from the inside. And you. You don’t have to stay. I’ll understand.” Pulling away Eric took Alan’s chin in his hand and forced him to look at him.  
“I’ll never leave you. I’ll always be here for you. Especially when you need me the most.” Seeing tears escape Alan’s eyes he brought him close again. Alan gripped the back of his shirt as he said “Thank you,” through his tears.  
Once Alan had composed himself Eric asked him why the Undertaker.   
“He has been around since it was first discovered. He has been trying to see if he could find a cure. It may not be a well known disease but it’s still out there and harmful.”  
“Any progress?”  
“No, just tips on how to help me manage them.”  
“You shouldn’t be working, should you?”  
Dropping his eyes Eric had his answer before Alan said anything.  
“No, I shouldn’t but I’m careful on the field so it’s alright. William has given me the approval.”  
“Will knows?”  
“I had to tell him, as soon as I knew I told him.”  
“And you didn’t tell me.”  
“I told you I tried!”  
“No arguing you two. You’ll end up waking the dead.” Seeing the Undertaker coming back into the room Alan got up to thank him. And made arrangements to see him in a couple of months. It would be nice to leave this place.  
Coming out of his mind Eric noticed about a dozen shot glasses in front of him. He should probably stop. It wasn’t doing anything anyway. Paying he left the bar and started walking again. He still wasn’t sure where he was going but moving helped. It helped keep his mind on the present instead of going back to the past. As much as he always wanted to remember Alan and the time they spent together he didn’t want the memories of when he learned he was sick to be all he thought about. They had so much better times than that. So many memories that were happy ones. Seeing a shadow overcome him he stopped and looked up. There was that tree Alan loved. It was his favorite spot to hide when he was on a reaping job and had to make sure others didn’t see him. Going to the tree he stood under it and looked up. He spotted the branch Alan would stand on to wait.   
“Alan, want to head back to the society?” Eric found Alan staring up at a giant oak tree in the middle of a park. It seemed like he didn’t hear him, he was lost in his own world.  
“Al, you alright?” Putting a hand on his shoulder he felt Alan knock it off as he jumped up to start climbing.  
“Alan what are you doing? Should you be doing that?”  
“Don’t! Don’t start protecting me. I want nothing to change so long as my body allows. Want to climb with me?” He yelled as he swung from branch to branch. Not wanting to be far in case he fell, Eric started climbing up. Alan did seem to be as physical and as flexible as he remembered which was good. Though, it wasn’t enough to erase the fact that Alan was sick. That he had learned that he was slowly dying. Reaching the branch Alan stopped at they sat together and stared out over the city.   
“Nice view huh?”  
“Yea. How did you find it?”  
“I didn’t. I just always wanted to climb it. Today I finally decided to.”  
“Alan. I can’t pretend it’s nothing.”  
“And I’m not asking you too. Just don’t treat me differently. That’s all I’m asking from you. Just love me the same.”  
“Always.” Taking Alan’s hand they sat and watching the city together.   
Staring at the tree Eric decided not to climb it. It wouldn’t be the same without Alan. Shoving his hands into his pockets he started walking again. The memories had to stop. No, not the memories but the pain that followed. He wanted to remember, he wanted never to forget Alan but the pain in his heart only made the memories harder to handle. He knew what would help, answers. He couldn’t get them though. No one had any for him. He wanted to know why there wasn’t a cure, why Alan had to contract the thorns to begin with. Why Alan had to die. Stopping in the street he turned and ran back down the road. Maybe someone did have those answers. Maybe he could get the closure he was looking for.   
Coming up on the undertakers building he ran inside hoping he was in. He was the one person that knew everything involving the thorns. He was the only one that Alan could turn to for help. Hearing his laughter Eric jumped, every time he was here.   
“Now what can I do for you?” Coming out from the shadows Eric saw him in the same dark get up he always wore. With the same grin, the one that said he knew something everyone else didn’t.  
“Come to heal a broken heart have you? And what makes you think I have those answers you seek?”  
“You’re the only one that knew about the thorns before Alan contracted them. If people know about them then why is there nothing that can be done?”  
“Sit and we shall discuss. Tea, biscuit?”  
Pushing it away Eric sat, he would get the answers he sought after. No matter what.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4  
Disclaimer- I own nothing!  
Eric sat and listened to the Undertaker, there was no way. Alan never had a chance, he knew that but yet hearing it made things harder, more unbearable then they already were.   
“I had told him of a cure, the only one in existence. Though it had never been tested. it was merely folklore. Legend has it that if one was to collect a thousand pure souls, from only young women then one could cast away the thorns. Alan never desired to pursue it. He never wanted to even think about. All because it would cost others their lives. He came to me as soon as he realized something was wrong. Telling him he was going to die wasn’t easy. I liked Alan, he was interesting when it came to reapers.”  
“Stop. I don’t want to hear your fantasies about Alan. But, he knew it wouldn’t be a painless death?”  
“He did. He knew right from the start that he would suffer. I told him to enlist in someone he trusted to help him. It took much to convince him.”  
“I knew he didn’t want to tell me.”  
“He fought hard, for you mostly. Didn’t want you to mourn for long.”  
“He did?”  
“Alan loved you. That is the message he wanted me to tell you. He figured you would come to me. He knew you well.”  
“He really did. Better than anyone else.”  
“There isn’t much I can do for you. We are Reapers we cannot access those that leave us.”  
That was right, they couldn’t. But there were those that could. Those that could access the world of the living and of the spirit, there he could find closure.  
“If you seek an Angel they may offer what you can’t return. You may not be able to return to this world.”  
“Would that be so bad though? There is nothing left is there for me”  
Jotting something down on a piece of paper Undertaker slipped it to Eric who looked it over briefly before sticking it in his pocket. Eric was out of there before Undertaker could get a word of warning out to him.   
Running down the road he thought of the quickest route to take. An angel, why did he not think of that sooner? He could see Alan again. He could make sure he was okay; he could feel his heart beat again. His body would feel life again. This could be a trap for all he knew, Angels weren’t always as nice as the stories told of, especially to Reapers but so long as he could get to Alan he could handle anything. Coming to the church he slowed before entering. The last thing he wanted to do was have them leave, or attack him before they knew why he was here.   
“Well what do we have here? A Reaper?”   
Turning he saw a woman come up behind him, her wings were folded though no one else could see him.  
“I come to seek closure.”  
“Closure? What an odd thing to hear from one of your kind.”  
“I need to know that the one that left me is alright now. I need to know for certain that he is at peace.”  
“That won’t come cheaply. What you seek requires a payment.”  
“Please. Anything. I need to see him again.”  
“Are you certain this is what you want? Once we have taken our payment there is no going back.”  
“I’ll pay anything. I need to see him!”  
Bringing forth a document for Eric’s signature upon his approval, she brought him inside the lair. Seeing what the cost was, what he would have to lose he signed it and awaited his reward.   
“You shall have what you desire then. Thank you for business.” Signaling for two other angels Eric’s arms were held back.  
“What is going on? What are you doing? I paid you so I could see Alan.”  
“And you will sweetheart.” Whispering in his ear he felt her hand cut through his chest, damn the Angels!  
Opening his eyes Eric tried to allow the room to settle around him, everything seemed so bright.   
“Oh! Look he is waking! We should inform the other.” Hearing a gentle voice over him Eric tried to sit up, his head felt heavy.   
“What is going on?” With a hand on his head he tried to take it what was around him, it looked like a street, a normal street from the dispatch. How had he gotten here?  
“Welcome, Eric Slingby, you’re forever awaits you.”   
“My forever?” Turning to the voice a man stood over him, he wasn’t in a suit, or robes, nothing to show he was a reaper or an angel, he seemed to be in plain clothes, what was going on?  
“Come; allow me to help you get settled.” Helping Eric to his feet he tried to gather his bearings while he moved to a building. How had he gotten to the middle of the street in the first place? Why was none of this sounding familiar to him?  
“Right this way please. We have someone waiting to help you.” The man opened the door for him allowing him to step inside. As the door was closed behind him Eric looked inside the room to see a small, slender man standing from a chair.  
“I have been waiting a very long time to see you again. It’s what has made every day here bearable.”   
Stepping closer into the light Eric’s jaw fell. “Alan? But how?”  
“It’s been awhile, hasn’t it, Eric. I’ve missed you.”  
“And I’ve missed you.” Moving towards Alan his hands placed on the smaller ones shoulders, feeling the solid mass to make sure this was real, he wasn’t dreaming.   
“It’s really you.”  
“It’s really me, Eric. I have missed saying that name. Eric.” Seeing the look of confusion covering Eric’s face Alan’s grabbed his arms to pull them away and hold his hands. “Come, let me help you get settled in and fill in the gaps.”   
Before they walked anywhere Eric wrapped his arms around Alan to pull him closer. Taking a deep breath his lungs filled with the scent that was his love, that was his Alan, it had never changed from the last day he saw him.   
As they separated Alan kept Eric’s hand in his own as he lead him to another room the house held.   
“Where should I start, hmmm? I guess from the beginning would be best.”  
“Alan. You’re dead.”  
“I am dead. As are you.”  
“From the angels?”  
“Well. No.” Stopping from helping Eric undress so he could wash up Alan looked him in the eyes with surprise.   
“The angel ripped her hand through me, I remember that.”  
“Well yes, but that happened sixty years ago.”  
“Sixty years? No, it was just before.”  
“Eric. I have been dead for sixty years and three days.”  
“That can’t be right. I saw the angel three days after your death.”  
“Yes.” Having Eric sit on the edge of the long tub Alan kept his hands in his. “You saw the angel soon after my passing, but Eric, the angel didn’t kill you that day. You signed a document to see me once again, which is what happened. But, the payment was your immortality. She ripped out what made you a death god and turned you into a mortal man. You didn’t die from her hand through your chest, you died from old age.”  
“Old age?”  
Alan tried not to laugh as he smiled and nodded, “looked handsome even with grey hair.”  
“Oh god, I’m not some old man right now am I?”  
“No, you look just like the day we last saw each other.” Turning to the sink he lifted a mirror from it to hand it to Eric. Holding it to his face he saw his blond highlights with the black roots, his hair still braided on the right.   
“The contract you signed allowed you to join me the age you were when you agreed to it. Though I would have loved you even if you were covered in wrinkles.”  
“Why do I remember nothing of being a human?”  
“That is something I can’t answer for I don’t know.”  
“And is this heaven?”  
“It is, now, anyway.”  
“Now?”  
“Now that you are with me. I was upset with you when I learned of what you did but I waited sixty long years for this day Eric.”  
“Alan.” Feeling his eyes start to become misty he wrapped his arms around Alan’s body to bring him close again. Feeling Alan wrap his arms around him and his head rest on his shoulder Eric could feel Alan shaking from the tears that left his eyes.  
“I am so glad to have you back Eric. I knew I would see you again I just knew it.”  
“I promised you I would never say goodbye forever.”  
After Eric had washed up and got his mind sorted as best he could Alan decided it was best to show him around. Heaven reminded them both of the Dispatch, a community where only the chosen lived, it was a nice feeling.   
“Do you work?”  
“Not really, there is no money here.”  
“So how do you spend your day?”  
“You’re going to laugh but, when I died, because I was reaper who didn’t die by a demon, I was allowed to stay in the central area for awhile. I got to help people transition to life here. I also was allowed to watch certain people.”  
“Like a guardian angel?”  
“Mmmmm sort of I guess. I couldn’t influence people but I was allowed to watch them live their life.”  
“You spied on me didn’t you.”  
“I wouldn’t call it spying, I just anxiously awaited the day I would see you, though I didn’t actually learn of that happening for quite some time.”  
“Do you have any idea what happened with Ronald and the others?”  
“Ronald? I do actually. He is still a giant flirt, though he moved up in the ranks. And um, well, he moved into my old place.”  
“He did?!”  
“Yea, I was surprised to hear that as well. I wish I could ask him what made him decide that one.”  
“I bet I know.”  
“Hmm?”  
“I’ll tell you later.” Kissing Alan’s cheek they stopped under an oak off the side of the street, allowing the shade to wash over them.  
“Oh! I learned something else while I worked for the central area, the Dispatch, though thoroughly pissed with you and your actions, took our scythes and placed them as relics. They sit side by side in the library.”  
“No one else would have been as good with that scythe but you.” Kissing his cheek again he pinned Alan up against the tree to allow their lips to meet, it had been much too long, this kiss had been long overdue. As they separated Alan’s eyes were glistening with the threat of tears once more.  
“I love you Eric. I have waited sixty years to tell you that. I love you, I know how much pain I caused you when I was sick and you had to watch me grow weaker and weaker and the day of my death I know wasn’t easy for you. I love you for everything you have done for me, for loving me through it all, for remembering me after all these years. My biggest regret when I died was not knowing if you knew all of that, if I told you how much I loved you.”  
“Alan,” Wiping away the tears that had started to fall from his eyes he smiled. “I knew. I knew you loved me. I should be thanking you. For waiting all this time for me. Thank you for being the person that got to help me settle in to this new life. I love you Alan, I always have.”  
Falling into Eric’s arms he moved them to sit against the tree. Alan, his Alan was with him again, healthy, happy, the same he remembered. He may have waited sixty years for this day but he had promised he would see Alan again. Now he was never letting him go. The angels had given him his wish, the price wasn’t cheap, but it was worth it. It was worth every cent so he could have this moment and every moment after with the one he loved.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This ends Sayonara. Thanks for the support, I hope everyone enjoyed it.


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